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Frank thought Frances should do things his way. Frances thought Frank should behave better towards her. Both believed reality should conform to their desires. Their irrational wants became unrealistic, absolutistic demands. As in so many marriages where communication breaks down, the couple found themselves creating and escalating a vicious cycle of put-downs, anger and joani blank pity. There are joani blank one-up, one-down and peer partnerships. The goal in creating better intimate relationships is to move toward a 'peer' or 'equal' partnership. joani blank The author has long focused his owrk on the self-talk people use to disturb themselves. And therefore you can also deconstruct and reduce them. This is an irrational belief system based on unrealistic, illogical, self-defeating demands, commands, shoulds, oughts, and musts such as: I must always do well. |
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